What I wasn't prepared for was the pain in other places. My throat is a wreck from the breathing tube they use when they have to put you under, and the subsequent cough it has caused has made my nonexistent abs feel like I've been doing sit ups for days. My calf muscles ache thanks to the pads they use to help prevent blood clots during surgery. My shoulders hurt because I had to hold my arms above (not behind) my head while they traced the radioactive dye into the lymph nodes to know which ones to remove.
More than anything though, right now my biggest post-surgery takeaway has been my weight. Specifically that I've got to do something about it.
I've ballooned up to nearly 300lbs, and it is truly the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I think the biggest contributor has been my new job.
I sit at a computer all day, so exercise has become a non-existent thing for me. I get up at about 6:30 every morning to get ready for work, but honestly the last month or so that's gotten pushed almost to 7. And I usually get home around 6:30 or 7. If I'm going to make myself dinner, it means I don't get to eat until around 8, so too many times dinner has become whatever fast food I feel like on the drive home. Equally unhealthy is the fact that I usually cook a pizza in the oven on Sunday and then divide that up for my lunch throughout the week. And then I'll grab a sweet of some sort from the vending machine.
I was never a work-is-life guy, and the fact that I'm becoming one is troublesome to me.
No, troublesome isn't right. To put it bluntly it has depressed the hell out of me.
While I've never been the healthiest person, I've always enjoyed moderate exercise (especially lengthy walks and the occasional jog). The walks weren't just contributing to my physical health either, they were extremely therapeutic for my mental state, and also fueled me creatively as well.
Six months ago I loved working with the people I was working with, and it kept me chugging along at a job that was beyond stressful and I knew was negatively impacting both my mental and physical health. Now I have a new group of coworkers and a new boss, all of whom I like just fine, but the changes I've been forced into have made it easier to reassess the situation I'm in and adamantly say "This is not where I want to be. and it's not who I'm meant to be."
It would have been Jim Henson's 81st birthday today. He once put a green puppet on his hand, talked in a funny voice and gave life to these words: "Life is like a movie. Write your own ending."
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